general assholery » The New Atlantean

Should College Football be Banned?

Jul 272012

I had a one-hour drive home from dinner last night, and I made the mistake of turning on NPR. The show was called “Intelligence²“, and promised to be an “Oxford-style debate”. The topic of last night’s show? When I heard the title my Circle of Willis burst like a caterpillar in a microwave: “Should College Football Be Banned?“.

Umm, no. And fuck you.

On the pro-ban side was someone who should know better — Buzz Bissinger, author of Friday Night Lights and several other sports books. He was joined by Malcolm Gladwell, from the New Yorker. On the side of the angels were gormer Atlanta Falcons defensive end Tim Green and FoxSports’s Jason Whitlock.

Of the two anti-freedom people, I guess Gladwell was at least somewhat cogent. He pointed out that football players take serious hits that risk damaging their brains. He also referred to the deaths of Junior Seau, Dave Duerson, and Ray Easterling, as well as the recent suit by 200o-odd ex-NFL players who claim brain damage.

Bissinger was just embarrassing. He spewed the type of anti-Capitalistic screed you expect from NPR: “The coaches are paid too much! The poor, innocent students are exploited! People should focus on school, not sports!”. He was whiny, shouty, and generally a screaming douche.

If I were responding, it would have looked like this:

But the guys who were against the proposal took the high road, and made a more mature response. They pointed out (remarkably calmly) that we’re a free country, we have a capitalist economy, that the football programs contribute to the colleges, and that the brain damage story was based on rumor and anecdote instead of scientific studies.

The thing that pissed me off, though, was that the basic premise was that it would be OK for “us” to ban a college sport because we don’t like it. We’ve become a nation of busybodies, so focused on getting into everyone else’s business at the cost of their — and our own — personal freedom. The totalitarian nanny douchebaggery that would wrap everyone in bubble wrap to protect them from life is Anti-American and just fucking wrong.

Miami Heat Owner Raanan Kaatz is a Censorious Ass-Twat™

Jun 262012

The Image That Must Not Be Seen!!

The owner of the Miami Heat, the above-named Raanan Kaatz, is a very bad man. He’s a very rich man who thinks his fortune means the little people shouldn’t be able to say mean things about him. Kaatz is suing a blogger because she dared to write true stories about his litigation history. He’s even made implicit legal threatsagainst the media just for reporting on the case:

In the meantime, Levine has strong words for anyone who would consider writing about Katz’s lawsuit. “I’d ask you not to publish anything about this,” he says. “Even pointing people toward that blog could constitute further defamation.”

To dial the stupid up to 11, he’s also decided to sue Google, evidently on the transitive theory of copyright violations. The copyright violation is because he objects to a picture of him that was posted on the the blog, one that makes him look somewhat more stupid than he usually does. Thankfully the blogger has First Amendment Big Swinging Dick Mark Randazza on her side, so he can’t possibly lose. Google, I’m told, has a few lawyers of their own, and enough cash to grind the douchenozzle into the dirt. Why am I posting about it? Because, as Ken at Popehat wrote:

Raanan Katz has a great deal of money. Raanan Katz can therefore, without too much effort, harass a single blogger critical of him. Once ten bloggers write about him, the harassment starts to become noticeably expensive for Katz. When a hundred bloggers write about him, harassment litigation becomes impractical. When a thousand bloggers write about him, Katz passes into legend.

So if you have a blog, I would encourage you further proclaim Kaatz’s assnuggetry as well. Remember, Miami Heat owner RaananKaatz is a Censorious Ass-Twat™! H/T: Ken at Popehat, Carlos Miller. Other bloggers on the topic: I Have the Conch listen to my words, Mark Randazza’s Bolshy great yarblockos to thee and thine!, Techdirt, BoingBoing; Ranaan Katz and Alan Kluger: “Sue Everybody! Punitive Damages!”

It’s W-T-Friday! This Week in World-Record Stupidity!

Jun 222012

Time again for me to post a bunch of stories that I’ve been wanting to comment on, but for which I haven’t the time.

Crazy Nancy Fun Time!!

First off, it looks like someone let Pelosi out without her pills again. On the contempt motion to Attorney General Holder in the Gunwalker scandal, Nancy shows her growing dementia. First she claims that she could have arrested Karl Rove on any given day if she had chosen. “I’m not kidding.”, rattled the old crone. “There’s a prison here in the Capitol. If we had spotted him in the Capitol, we could have arrested him.” It’s unclear if the grizzled old whore realizes that there’s a significant distinction between a political advisor and the Attorney General.

Flushed with that success, the evil harpy shrieked that the only reason Republicans are going after Holder is that they want to suppress minority votes. I’m thinking some of her botox must have seeped into her brain or something, because I can’t quite figure out any connection between the Fast and the Furious prosecution and voting rights. The takedown at http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-TV/2012/06/22/Gowdy-Strikes-Again-Pelosi-Mind-Numbingly-Stupid is beautiful to see, though.

I Pledge Allegiance to WHAT??

Saying the Pledge of Allegiance is always good for some controversy. The “Under God” part is always good for an argument, but how ’bout adding in a creepy pledge to be loyal to the school and teachers? Via Reason, we see that’s exactly what they do in Morganville, New Jersey. After pledging allegiance to the flag, the students are told to recite

I pledge allegiance to Asher Holmes and the Marlboro Township School District and to the teachers who help us learn, all that we need to know for the future. We promise to respect ourselves and others, to try our best and always be proud of our schools.

What’s wrong with indoctrinating our kids to be brainless followers of bureaucrats, right?

Post-Racial Assholery

From Minnesota we find a college spending taxpayer money to stamp out racism — by “undermining ‘white privilege’”. It’s your typical liberal racebaiting assholery that you’d expect from a state school, but this is extra creepy by featuring 1984-style public confessions.

“You give me better jobs, better pay, better treatment, and a better chance – all because of the color of my skin,” reads one poster that features a close shot of a Caucasian male.

According to the campaign, it’s “unfair” to be white and male. Because you choose to be otherwise, I guess.

Good commentary on this story by the Worlds Only Rational Man and CharlieDelta

Epic MSNBC Douchenozzlery

Jun 192012

You’ve got to love how the progressive media thinks it can still get away with ~~spinning the truth~~ blatant lies and not get called on it. The latest is this pretty video, in which they carefully edited the speech to make it look like Romney is completely out of touch with the common man.

The problem, of course, is that’s completely out of context. His speech was contrasting the innovation you see in private enterprise with the complete lack thereof in the public sector. Thankfully there was someone in the crowd who recorded the full speech.

See how different the two speeches are in content? What utter douchebaggery.

Quoth Politico:

The MSNBC clip feeds into the narrative, beloved by some on the left, that Romney is a 1950′s throwback. After the clip cut, Mitchell and MSNBC contributor Chris Cillizza broke out into laughter — which is understandable, given that they both had been led to believe that Romney was wowed by a simple machine. In fact, what Romney found so “amazing” was the discord between private sector innovation and public sector bureaucracy.

Politico has also posted an update, saying that Andrea Mitchell will “address” the Wawa clip today at 1 PM. Stay tuned!

H/T: William Jacobson at Legal Insurrection, who quotes Politico. Original story broken by SooperMexican.

Update: MSNBC doubles down on the douchebaggery, insisting they did nothing wrong.

In Which I Admit to Feeling Bad for Obama

Jun 182012

This photo has nothing to do with the post. It just amused me.

It can’t be easy being president. I mean, you really do get it from each direction. Conservatives (and even less brain-dead libs) aren’t thrilled with how hard he’s working to bankrupt the country. And lefties get pissed that he isn’t enough of a leftie for them (!!). This is just beautiful, though. One of Obama’s law professors has stated that Obama “MUST be defeated in 2012“. The sentiment I agree with, but the reason is beautiful:

President Obama must be defeated in the coming election. He has failed to advance the progressive cause in the United States.’

Yeah, that’s it. He hasn’t advanced ~~socialism~~ progressivism in the US enough.

In What Way is Matt Drudge Racist?

Jun 172012

Of all the liberal bullfuckery I’ve heard recently, among the most amusing is Bill Mayer’s assertion that Matt Drudge is racist. I’ve been reading the Drudge Report for years now, and I can’t think of a single post of his that’s even remotely racist. Hell, for the most part he eschews opinion pieces, and just posts news stories. Yes, I realize that the liberal fucktards like Maher (a “libertarian” the way that I’m a fucking brook trout) are desperate to do anything they can to buy Obama another 4 years so he can shit out the socialist utopia they’ve been waiting for. Matt Drudge is a solid conservative/libertarian, and certainly among the most open-minded conservative I know of. Bill Maher you arrogant fuck, you should drown in a bucket of jizz.

H/T: The Daily Caller

When Did Unionists Become a Bunch of Little Bitches? (language NSFW)

Jun 062012

Yes, I know the lefties are shattered at their massive defeat in Wisconsin. They worked damned hard to be able to continue raiding the public coffers, and still can’t quite understand why the public won’t let them continue. Still, what’s with this little pussy crying over the defeat?

Grow yourself a pair, you whiny little pissant. Let me guess, no Daddy figure when you were growing up?

Oh, and “Democracy died [last] night”, because the elections were “bought”? Fuck you. Were they also bought when Obama outspent McCain 2 to 1 in the last election? I didn’t think so.

Mongol General: Hao! Dai ye! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
Mongol: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
Mongol General: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
Mongol General: That is good! That is good.

Stories of Stupid Family Members

Jun 032012

Wish my in-laws could be so classy

Chapter 1:

Idaho police arrested a burglar who fell asleep while trying to steal a car stereo.

Funny criminal story though it may be, I’m afraid to admit that the same thing happened to my brother-in-law. Twice. My brother-in-law is a fan of crack, don’tcha know, and he has spent most of his life since the age of 15 in prison. Several years ago he was arrested when he fell asleep/passed out in the front seat of a car, the screwdriver still in his hand and a stereo half out of the console. Oops.

After he got out of prison for that offense he then did a B&E on someone’s house. Seems breaking and entering is tough work, and he fell asleep on their couch. You’ll have that, I guess. He was aroused by the police, who were displeased that the homeowner had been there at the time, so they charged him with a home invasion robbery. The prosecutors asked for 45 years, but he got “lucky” with a short sentence of 14 years. I’m rather glad he’s off the street.

Chapter 2:

My wife is a wonderful woman, who is amazingly classy for someone who grew up in the ghetto of a major city. That’s not the case of her siblings, and even less so of cousins. One of her cousins is also a crack afficionado, and rather than going into the burglary trade, decided to get involved in the crack ho industry. We heard that she murdered a fellow skel a few years back, but hasn’t yet been charged.

Anyhow, her daughter (who she had at age 14 or so, of course) was a really sweet kid growing up. I remember seeing the promise in her eyes, and feeling sad that she’d no doubt follow in her mother’s footsteps one day. And sure as shit, she’s already popped out 3 kids so far, and is currently working as a stripper in the same city whose streets her mom walks.

Anyhow, she was very excited at a pair of shoes she purchased, so she posted them on Facebook. Holy shit, are these things classy or what?

Nothing says class like silver stiletto heels, right?

Jesus wept.

“So You’re Not Answering, Basically?”

May 312012

The insolence of office

This will come as a terrible surprise to you all, but I’m basically a cynic– especially when it comes to politics. That’s why I wasn’t so terribly outraged with the Elizabeth Warren “Faux-cahontas” buffoonery in Mass. She’s a politician, so of course she lies. She’s a liberal politician, so you’re almost better off assuming every word coming out of her cakehole is the opposite of the truth. It’s how they are.

However, the blatant assholery of the video below just boggles my mind. In it she’s asked a direct question about her claims of being an honest injun. The arrogance of the responses was unbelievable. First the governor leaps in front of her, loudly proclaims his support from her, and says it’s a stupid question. The reporter then asks Warren if she wanted to answer it — and Warren says she’ll defer to the governor. The reporter presses her again, and Warren launches into a typical class warfare screed. When pressed again, Warren replies that she “did answer it, and [the reporter] just didn’t like the answer”.

Yes, I know politicians are fond of smokescreens and deflecting and half answers and evasion. This far surpasses that, though. They blatantly ignored the question, and when confronted with their assholery, arrogantly proclaimed that they didn’t care.

The insolence of these assholes is not to believed, and not to be tolerated.

H/T: William A. Jacobson at Legal Insurrection

A Thought on the “Bath Salt Zombie”

May 302012

(click to embiggen). It was the Mexicanized dishes and pepper sauce that got me. Oh, and the sweet, sweet booze.

As you’ve no doubt heard, some crazy skell in Miami ate the face off of another crazy skell. Cops shot skell #1, and skell #2 is in the hospital in bad condition.

Via our friend Karrcarto at Gotta Get Drunk First , we see that the president of the Fraternal Order of Police, along with the local news outlet, is breathlessly suggesting that it’s the new, terrible scourge called “Bath Salts”. That is, of course, most likely bullshit.

Why, you ask? Think of the motivations of all involved. The press is easy — they just want another horrifying story that they can exaggerate to get viewers. They’re about as focused on the truth as a democrat is on fiscal discipline.

The cops are just as bad, of course. The more fear and outrage there is out there, the more people look for their help. The more they can be perceived as protecting people from imagined threats, they less they’ll have to focus on real threats and show real results. It’s all PR and marketing.

There’s also a persistent theme in chemical prohibition in which a “drug” is associated with the worst thing possible — crime, insanity, mass murder, etc. –in order to strengthen the prohibitionists’ case. William White has a great example in his paper “Themes in Chemical Prohibition“:

A prohibitionist movement, which Was short lived but quite capable of attributing the evils of the world and the devastation of human beings to its particular despised chemical, gave wide circulation to a statement by Sir Clifford Allbut, M.D. and Walter Dixon, M.D. which appeared in A System of Medicine in 1909. At the time Sir Clifford was a professor of internal medicine at the University of Cambridge in England and Dr. Dixon was a professor of pharmacology at Kings College in London. An excerpt follows:

The sufferer is tremulous, and loses his self-command; he is subject to fits of agitation and depression; he loses his color and has a haggard appearance. The appetite falls off, and symptom of gastric catarrh may be manifested. The heart also suffers; it palpitates, or it intermits. As with other such agents, a renewed dose of the poison gives temporary relief, but at the cost of future misery. 20

The substance referred to is coffee, and the statement was circulated for a short time in an attempt to garner support for the prohibition of coffee.

Look, people who want to limit our freedom will latch onto anything they can to justify their assholery (see Reason’s 5 Classic Teen Sex-and-Drug Freakouts: Rainbow Parties, Butt-Chugging, And So Much More (By Which We Mean Less) for some more examples). Don’t stand for it.

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