It’s Friday, so it’s time for another tour of idiocy around the web.
- First off, the New York Times reports that Emperor Bloomberg plans to ban all sweetened beverages over 16 ounces. Bloomy doesn’t care that the people are getting tired of his nagging nannyisms — he’s been annointed king, and the peons will do what he commands, goddamnit! Mayor Bloomberg, there’s a reason your city is turning in to a joke, and you’re it. Kiss my pimply white taint.
- A news organization (!) in Florida (!!) did an investigation (!!!) that showed thousands of non-citizens registered to vote. The state didn’t immediately arrest the criminals, but at least they started purging them from the voter roles. Obviously Obama’s “Justice” Department can’t have that, and they’ve ordered Florida to cease and desist. Hey DoJ: fuck you.
- In news that surprises nobody, the fascist government in Venezuela has banned private gun ownership. Funny how that once socialists take over among their first actions is banning guns, isn’t it? Almost like they don’t want their victims to fight back. Hey, at least Chavez didn’t just give guns to drug gangs, right?
- As well all know, Obama has an unconstitutional, illegal kill list. For some reason Judge Napolitano objects to this. He’s obviously just not as experienced a Constitutional scholar as our respected dickhead-in-chief. Go read. It’s a great article.
- Load your shotgun and sharpen your machete, the zombie apocalypse continues – this time in Maryland and across the pond in England..
- In the “Sex without Orgasms” department, scientists have invented cannabis without the high. Thank God for that!
- Nancy Pelosi, who needs to be kicked in the ribcage until she explodes, has predicted that the Supreme Court will uphold Obamacare 6 to 3. Get this: it’s because she “knows the Constitution” (presumably in a “know your enemy” way)
- Reports suggest that Obama flies his barber from Chicago to the white house every 2 weeks. Interesting that’s the least wasteful thing that he’s been doing with our tax money.
- Bank failures are bad, bad things, right? That’s why we had the TARP plan, and why Ted Kennedy passed his financial system takeover law. Explain to me, then, why US and European regulators are pressuring banks to buy up their own shitty governmental bonds? Fox, please guard this hen house.
- And finally, in a legal victory for sixth graders everywhere, a NY court has ruled that calling someone “gay” isn’t slander. Yep, the appeals court of New York has finally codified Jerry Seinfeld’s “Not that there’s anything wrong with that”.
Hilarious and antagonizing at the same time. File em all under WTF and Only in America.